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Thursday, 15 November 2012

Growing up: Change ?

Hello friends, it's been so long that I have posted and I'm once again sorry for not updating my blog so much. Just a few months and I would be outta my horrible school ^.^

The word 'change' is on my mins a lot since quite some time now. People say that I have changed. I admit that I have changed but for the better but a few of my so-called-friends do not agree. In 8th standard, I was the shy little girl who wanted to fit in the cool crowd but ultimately got kind of bullied as I mentioned in my post Haters would hate! When those incidents brought up confidence within me, in 9th I was able to fight back for my rights and speak out, something I was never able to do before then. In 10th, I became the social bee in the school, I had the popular gang which I only used to dream of in class 8th. Moving in 11th, brought a drastic change in my life. The heavy burden of studies, coaching's  parent pressure and the breaking up of my gang due to change in schools/sections.....

...and there is it where it all starts. I realized people who said they won't forget to keep in touch, din't even came to meet up n the recess. People who said that they care about you, back bitched against you to the rest of the people and people who said they loved you, couldn't care less. I think, that's when I started feeling changes in my outlook on life and society. I'll come back on the society part later. Talking about life and people, unlike before I now very well know when they are merely just flirting with me, sugarcoating their words and I act accordingly. IS THAT BAD ? When now I don't pay attention anymore to those who brags about how they had a great chat with me ? I mean, how stupid it is. Creating a mountain from beads. But then again, people said I used to be amazing in 10th and not now. Well, back at that time I was too impractical and emotional. I used to believe in anything and everything that others said. I should use the word 'gullible' but now, I feel I'm more practical, straight forward and mature. Now I don't wait for fairytale endings because I know how people in this cruel society be.

Talking about society, I have noticed that it does not accept you the way you are. No, I don't do drugs, I haven't drink alcohol in my life, haven't been in the disco ever and I'm gonna turn 18 in a few months. YES, people like me do exist and still the society won't accept you the way you are. No matter whatever you do, they are gonna pinpoint you and tell out your mistakes instead of finding their own and rectifying it.

Reminds me of a line from a Selena's song:

"Who are you to judge when you are just a diamond in the rug"

I can't be myself in school around my so called friends. Anything I do, they have a problem and they can't resist the urge to make a comment on it. I'm so fed up!

I'm growing up, everyone does.I have changed, people and circumstances made me changed, but for the better. I'm just knowing the world now, and believe me if I get a chance, I would love to become a kid all over again, where the hardest decision was to choose which color crayon to use.

P.S Again, I won't be having time to promote this blog post. It's all here for my blog readers. Thank you so much for still sticking with me. I feel so light after talking to all of you! :)